I don't really have much of a topic today I'm afraid.
My mood matches the cold damp weather, I wasn't even going to write.
But then I thought - am I REALLY going to sit at home and continue crying?
Like American professor of psychology Abraham Maslow once said:
"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to ultimately be at peace with himself."
So dammit here I am.
Want to know the strangest thing?
I've been crying since my parents left, I could not be more disenfranchised with the opposite sex (again) and yet - I cannot get the song "There is no greater love" out of my head.
(To think, I was declaring "I hate everybody!" shortly before crying myself to sleep last night.)
The 1936 jazz standard has been covered by everyone from Dinah Washington to Amy Winehouse, it's an optimistic look at falling in love...truly, madly deeply.
I fell asleep with the song in my head - and woke up with it as well.
"You're the sweetest thing, that I've ever known - and to think that you are mine, alone..."
It's just so...romantic.
How could I be so CONSCIOUSLY miserable, with my subconscious dancing to this lovely little number?
As God would have it, "mixed emotions" was the sermon at church yesterday...
Walking in faith that you're on the right path - when there is no tangible proof, is bloody hard.
We have to dig DEEP into the well and recall a time when things DID go smoothly and our footing was strong.
Well.
My idealistic side (and evil sense of humor) have always gotten me through the rain, this time and this funk will be no different.
I mean, it got me to write today.
Tears and all.
Until next week...
There is no great love than what I feel for you
No greater love, no heart so true
There is no greater thrill, than what you bring to me
No sweeter song, than what you sing to me
~ Don Darcy, Billie Holiday, Dinah Washington etc.,
Hang in there, kiddo!
ReplyDeleteYou should know you are worth more than those tears :)