A Place of Yes

It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret 

~ Jackie Joyner-Kersee

Sup,

I am currently reading "A Place of Yes - 10 Rules for getting everything you want out of life" by Bethenny Frankel.  I already knew who Bethenny was but had never watched any of her shows. (Surprising since I watch other cities from the "Real Housewives" franchise, I just never got around to New York - and I live here!)

About a year ago, my friend Matt (aka Dr. Feelgood) told me that Bethenny was the biggest "winner" of all the reality TV stars with the her Skinny Girl Cocktails.  REALLY?  How could I have missed this?  (That's the thing about being a New Yorker - the Pope could be standing in front of you and you'd be too busy texting or hailing a cab to notice.)

I came across her show "Bethenny Ever After" earlier this year by accident, and could not look away.

I totally see why she got her own spin-off series, she's hilarious.  You can tell that she's being herself - even if it is hammed up for TV.  (Say what you want about the Kardashians, they're playing themselves so well that you can't help but watch.  Of course, famous husbands/boyfriends/step-dads don't hurt either)

On her new talk show, Bethenny featured a guest who changed her life thanks to "A Place of Yes" so I thought I'd give it a shot too.

My sister and I were going to read the book together.  But conflicting schedules and different cities make it difficult to talk as much.  And if I've learned one thing from the school-of-hard-knocks - it's never wait on somebody else when YOU are ready to move forward with your life.  (Or in my case, always impatient to move forward!)

I included the quote at the top of this post because I always felt that not preparing better was my main regret in life.  But can you really plan when you are creating a life in "unknown" territory?  When my parents decided to leave Cape Town and relocate us to Toronto - they never thought that one day apartheid would end.  All they knew was that there are better opportunities for us and our family NOW, so they hit the road praying that it would all work out.

And it did.

I studied acting and film production in school - if that's not a career path of unpredictability, I don't know what is.  It's not like I studied law with dreams of becoming a politician or a judge.  (God I could never stay in school that long!)  All I REALLY wanted to do was become a grown up and work.  (I mean, I'm sure when my parents immigrated they had hoped for a lawyer in the family, but at the very least, they set us up so that we could decide for ourselves.) 

Which brings me back to Bethheny. 

While I'm still in the beginning stages of the book (chapter # 3 "Act on it") I've decided to cut myself some slack for not having everything so "mapped out" and prepared in my life.  I am where I am today because when things fell apart, I kept moving forward. 
Because I had to.

There is something to be said for being a risk taker and going it alone.  I have always admired people like that, and so I became one.  (Of course, anyone that "makes it" in life never REALLY did it alone.
I've had bosses that gave me a shot and multiple loans from my parents to be thankful for.)  Like my cousin Hamilton said to me when I left Toronto for New York, "All you're doing is exactly what our parents did.  You moved somewhere for a better opportunity."

He's right.

If I hadn't struggled early, I wouldn't have had the courage to risk struggling again for a more fulfilling present and future.  I may not be sitting on a pile of cash (yet) but I have 3 projects on the go and have a friend designing my logo for blackcatbaby.com (thanks Jill!) launching next year.

While I still cry all the time for my cousin Alison who died too soon, I am using my creative endeavours to honor her memory. 
Because I want to. 

Until next week...

And when my life is over

Remember we were together

We were alone and I was singing this song for you

~ Donny Hathaway/Amy Winehouse