Well well well.
I missed a few weeks again didn't I?
And here I was declaring that I was "back."
But wait, I can explain!
As of my last post (seen here: http://blackcatbaby-imjustsayin.blogspot.com/2013/03/2013.html)
I didn't know that in 2 short weeks I'd be headed back to Cali.
Our show "My Friends Think I'm Funny"
got into a web series festival, and off I was to Los Angeles!
Oddly enough, in my last post - I reminisced to my 2012 travels to Miami and LA, and this year I went to both places in less than a month!
Well, something had to change.
About 8 weeks ago, I did a 2 week strict dietary cleanse to prepare for my birthday jaunt in South Beach. I continued the "health watch" by giving up fried food for Lent and alcohol during the week.
It's as though my pride kicked in to a time when I took better care of
myself - and my ego reminded me that I deserved to look (and I suppose feel)
better.
I mean, I AM Blackcatbaby, dammit.
I've always been into fitness and looking my very best, but a painful back injury sidelined me from exercising at the level I was used to.
It is now almost 100% healed.
As I always do every birthday, I reflect on where I've been and where I'm going...
At the same time, a good friend of mine was thinking of me.
She didn't quite know how to tell that she was worried.
She said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but what you're doing in
your life isn't working...you are young and vibrant...why aren't you kicking
more doors down?"
Believe it or not, I laughed.
I had JUST written "Why am I not kicking doors down?" as a note to include in this very blog.
That's the thing about getting older - you're forced to look at yourself
whether you want to or not.
One part of me has this sense of time and reality, (as opposed to being in
denial and pining for younger years) while another part is keenly aware that
I've sold myself short and not dreamed big enough.
The thing is, when you chose the road less traveled (as I have) with little support, so much of your
existence becomes about survival...do I reach for the stars, or pay my rent?
Sometimes I pat myself on the back for not having a nervous breakdown!
(Well, it's still early.)
..........................................
I'm not going to lie; I was much more upbeat when I started this blog a few weeks ago when I first got home.
It's cold, damp and cloudy here in New York and my mood matches the
weather...
My LA trip (and the kind souls I met while there) was such a nice surprise - I worked my ass off to make it happen.
On the flight home though, I cried because I had just missed Easter with my
family.
Nobody said it would be easy.
However, I can proudly state that I take responsibility for this Life I've created.
Yes, there have been tears - but there have been just as many laughs to go
along with all the characters in My Story.
I mean, it's hardly been boring.
In the March issue of Vogue, designer Phoebe Philo affirmed, "Friendships get older. Marriages get longer. Children get older. I love that. I love a sense of history within my little life. It's just journeys - and it's been such an interesting journey."
I couldn't agree more.
Until next week...
I always had a passion for
flashin'
Before I had it, I closed my
eyes and imagined
The Good Life
Better than the Life I lived
when I thought that I was gonna go crazy
- Kanye West & T-Pain
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