Native New Yorker

On September 11 2001, I was staying with my friend Jodi, in Brooklyn.

While I have put most of that day, and weeks that followed out of my mind (I have an excellent memory so I choose to forget) I do remember the chaos, the phones not working and speaking to family and friends around the world through MSN messenger.

There were no facebook status updates to reassure loved ones back then.
(Funny how we take that for granted now.)
I remember that I had trained as a bartender at the Marriott Hotel the week prior, in a building that came down with the towers.  (Jo was supposed to work there that day.)

With fashion week happening and a Michael Jackson special being filmed for CBS, it seemed as though EVERYBODY was in town.  (In fact, I had spent the evening of September 10 riding around in a limo with a guy claiming to be MJ's cousin!)  I came crawling home at 4-5am and just a few hours later, my cell phone (still working at the time) began ringing off the hook. 

My phone was plugged in in the living room, and I'll never forget when I stumbled out to get it, I caught a glimpse through the window and thought "What a beautiful day."
God.
I will never forget that clear dark blue sky. 
Ever.

I remember not going anywhere for days...we had food, wine, and a TV that was barely working.
My mom called and said she put money into my account so that I could book a ticket home the minute the airports were running again.
Absolutely not.

Like Jodi (originally from Pittsburgh) said, "Our parents don't think we should be here anyway, so of course they want us to leave now!  And besides, where are Native New Yorkers going to move to??"
She was right. 
They weren't leaving, and neither were we.

I don't know what brings about this New York hard-headedness.
We dig our heels in knowing it's more expensive than anywhere else, and don't get me started on the rats and roaches. 
Like my friend Kory said, "We've lived everywhere else, those places suck, and so do those people."
I died laughing.

While I have a hard time accepting that New York is becoming increasingly for the rich only, and that the artists who once flocked here will have to go somewhere more affordable (Detroit?) I will say this:
I've never been anywhere else that gives you the feeling of "anything is possible."
And it IS.

Success has just as much to do with geography as it does with hard work and connections.
That's the secret that nobody tells you.
And while I'm certainly no millionaire, struggling has never stopped me from dreaming bigger.
In fact, it's only made me work harder.

As any New Yorker will tell you; you have to have the balls to make that move in the first place - and God help you once you decide "This is where I'm staying, no matter HOW many times I'm knocked down."
I don't think I know anyone creative that hasn't expressed their art in some capacity here.

Like my bff Drew and I explained to his mom:
"Everything is easy in New York.  Except Life itself."
I believe it was fashion icon Oscar De La Renta said that, everyone who moves here, "Becomes a New Yorker eventually..."

I'd like to dedicate this blog to the "Native" New Yorkers.
The Lovers.  The Fighters.  The Dreamers.
And especially to those who lost somebody on September 11, 2001.
We're in this together.

Runnin' pretty, New York City Girl,
twenty five, thirty five 

Hello baby, New York City Girl

You grew up riding the subways, running with people

Up in Harlem, down on Broadway 

You're no tramp but you're no lady

Talkin' that street talk,

You're the heart and soul of New York City

 

And love, love is just a passing word

It's the thought you had, in a taxi cab

That got left on the curb...

When he dropped you off, at east 83rd...

 

Oh oh oh

(Oh oh oh)

You're a Native New Yorker...

~ Odyssey

Destiny's Child

Hi Dolls,

My original blog post was going to be about dedication and hard work - inspired by Madonna's performance (and record breaking audience) at last week's Super-Bowl.

And then came the news about Whitney Houston. 

A tragic ending to a life that inspired so many of us.
I am sitting here thinking about watching her music videos as a child and literally just feeling so proud of a female with my skin color taking the world by storm.
And that beauty. 
And that voice.

Before learning of her passing, I had been thinking a lot about fate.
The people in my life (past and present) who have ended up with unhappy lives that started off with such promise.  We all have stories of old friends who were "stars" in high school and ended up in a bad marriage, became a substance abuser, or simply never lived up to our expectations.
What lead them there? 

FATE: that which is inevitably predetermined; destiny; Death is our ineluctable fate.

How much do we "chose" our destiny?  How much is God at play?
It is my personal belief that it works both ways.
While I feel very "guided" in my daily existence, I have always subscribed to the adage "God helps those who help themselves."

I've taken MANY acting classes and workshops and during the introductions there is always a woman that says "Well, I became a wife and a mom and put my acting aspirations on hold, and now I'm finally doing what I want to do, before it's too late"

I promised myself then and there, that would never be me. 
I would take responsibility for my own creative stirrings - and spare any later resentment I'd feel towards a husband and child for not following my heart.
Of course, it came with a tremendous amount to sacrifice.

The saddest thing about Ms Houston's passing is that we kind of saw it coming, didn't we?
While we were heart-broken by the sudden deaths of Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse...were we really that shocked?
How we prayed that they'd get better and make a come-back for the fans. 
For themselves.

Then there's that dark horse that surprises us. 
People who beat addiction, cancer, bankruptcy, bad press!
For some reason, the keep going.
Because the have to.

And then there's Madonna.
Could anyone have predicted this career in 1981?
Or that she'd sign a NEW (lucrative!) record deal at the age of 50??
Love her or hate her - the woman doesn't stop.

In 2007 she stated:
"I want to be like Ghandi, and Martin Luther King, and John Lennon...but I want to stay alive"
So do I man.
So do I.

Until next week, my lovelies...

"You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"

~ Talking Heads