Hope all is well with you during this Festive Season...it can be stressful that's for sure.
Holidays bring up all SORTS of stuff.
Money, (or lack thereof) food (too much!) and of course, family.
This is a very tough time for my loved ones, as we continue to mourn the loss of my cousin Alison -the first Christmas without her.
I cannot imagine what it is like for her parents and sister.
My own anger put a dark veil on life's landscape - what must their pain be like?
I shudder.
I pray.
As of December 1st I stopped using the phrase "I hate everybody."
It's a phrase that's jokingly (or not so jokingly) been used by my friends & I for quite some time, but after Alison's passing it took a more resentful tone. I've done enough reading and self-care to know that our words and thoughts create our future - what am I creating by "fun" anger and bitterness?
Yes of course a huge part of it is grief.
But the main reason I stopped saying "hate" is because I came to the realization that SOMEWHERE along the line I began believing that Life is a struggle and everything is so damn hard. (And this was before Alison died.) I have a roof over my head, I live in the greatest city in the world and most of all, I've created a life for myself.
Like my best friend said the other night on the phone "We've always questioned ourselves and taken action - we're not people who just let Life happen to them."
Then what the hell is my bloody problem?
When did cynicism set in?
Well, I decided to go back to the book that started it all for me (over a decade ago) and re-ordered Louise L. Hay's "You Can Heal Your Life." Even though I've read a the book a million times, I find myself really resisting her message "what you put out comes back to you." What about the friends that let you down (or worse) the family who's not there when you need them?
What about all the evil and injustice in this world?
Do we really attract EVERY bad experience?
(And before we hate on Louise Hay, this is a woman who was raped, had a baby in high school, beat cancer and helped AIDS patients when they had NO support from the medical community in the early 80s.)
Now in her 8th decade, she continues to tell people "It's never too late to change. If I can do it, so can you..."
Because I ordered a recent copy of the book, it came with a DVD.
Much like "The Secret" there are host of self-help gurus and speakers who talk passionately throughout...and even though I had it on in "the background" (while doing my nails) I cried and cried.
I don't want to become someone that only laments about what's not fair and what is difficult.
Life's too short.
It always makes me sad to see the posts from Alison's friends who say they miss her encouragement and advice when they are down.
How did she manage to encourage anyone between her hospital stays and health problems?
Perhaps even as a teen she knew that Life is what you make it no matter WHAT hand you're dealt.
Because ultimately, that's the truth.
To be continued...
Tired of living day to day like everything's alright
Just waiting on that moment
Waiting on my moment
~ DJ Drama
No comments:
Post a Comment