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Sweethearts,

So much to say and nothing to write.
Time is at a stand still it sucks.
Mercury is in retrograde.

(From www.astrology.com)
What happens when Mercury retrogrades? You miss appointments, your computer equipment crashes, checks get lost, you find the car you just purchased during Mercury retrograde is a lemon...There will be countless delays, cancellations and postponements--but know these will benefit you in the long run. Don't fight them, although your frustration level and feeling of restlessness will be hard to cope with at times.

Frustrated?  Check.
RESTLESS?  Yup.
Hard to cope?  Jackpot
If any of you are feeling this way, trust me, I have you in my prayers.
(As I write this, I have had NUMEROUS problems with blogger and am not even sure you'll be able to read this post!)

The shitty part about moments like this, is that all you can do is "wait it out."
Patience is NOT always a virtue, and it's easy to feel like you're going nuts.
I know I do.
With the exception of one or two loved ones, I feel disconnected from most of the people in my life and need to withdraw.

If you are an "action" person like myself, then you know how difficult standing still can be.
(I'll just sit here meditating while my life figures itself out!)
Dammit man.

You can't force fate's hands - and when you do, (or try to) it usually proves disastrous.
It's just like that sometimes.

The good news?
I followed my heart and freed myself from a job that was taking more than it was giving.
As much as I appreciated the extra income and am grateful for my newfound friends, it served it's purpose.
It was time.

Time.
Isn't it amazing how much more valuable time is than money?
Other than our health, it really is our most precious resource.
Almost IMMEDIATELY other job opportunities came to me, so I know I made the right choice.
But I won't follow up on any of them just yet.

I will humbly practice some patience and wait.

Don't make me feel any colder

Time is like a clock in my heart

Touch we touch was the heat too much

I felt I lost you from the start

~ Culture Club

Broken Telephone.

Darlings.

Well it's rainy, I'm miserable, and I have a happy couple making out in front of me, yippee!
The good news: there's coffee, biscotti, and God has decided to bless me with weather to match my mood.
Phew.

But I digress....

Don't you just HATE it when you're sitting by the phone waiting for a guy to call or text?
It's the absolute worst.
WORST.
A professional athlete at that.
Honestly, what was I thinking??

Lord knows I've been down this road before.
For SOME reason - be it basketball, baseball and (especially lately) football...athletes love the black cat...and I can shamefully say, I love them right back.
(Well, I least I switch the sports up - actress Alyssa Milano was apparently a serial dater of major league pitchers)

Whether I want to admit to myself or not, a certain wide receiver has caught my attention.
I sulked miserably when I hadn't heard from him.
(Turns out, he had been hospitalized - no joke!)
And of course, he eventually did call.

Always ready to turn a negative to a positive, I reached out to people I hadn't talked to in ages.
Friends, family, my sister.
You know, the essentials.
It "levels" me out so-to-speak...
(Like longing for my loved ones replaces the vulnerability that comes with meeting someone new, if that's possible.)

Oh how I'd missed them.  Still do.

Look who knows what's going to happen with me and (ahem) "Mr. Player," but as my best friend reminded me - "isn't it nice to know you can still feel like that for someone?"  I had to agree.
I'm not wasting my time on dates that go nowhere anymore.
My time is too valuable.

I'd much rather be available for the people I love the most.
Including me.

Until next week...

Well sometimes I go out by myself

And I look across the water

And I think of all the things, what you're doing

And  in my head I paint a picture

~ Amy Winehouse