Yes. No. Sandy.

Well here we are.
It's almost 3pm and I am sipping my first coffee.
I have a sore throat, and Starbucks is packed as the kids are off school till next week.

All of this is a minuscule price to pay to be alive, well, and unlike most of my friends; HAVE ELECTRICITY.
Hurricane Sandy has come and gone I cannot believe how fortunate I am.
To say that I'm grateful is an understatement.

My cousin crashed with me for a couple of days and we had a blast...
(His building lobby flooded and they too lost their power)
We ate, drank, laughed and rented (what else) "The Perfect Storm."
He later exclaimed "who knew they could predict Sandy 20 years in advance?!"

In mere weeks I'll be losing him for good when he returns to South Africa after 6 years in New York.
I cannot believe how time flies (or that we weathered 2 hurricanes together!)
I'm so sad at the thought.
The value of family only increases the older I get.

After he left yesterday, I walked over 40 blocks to the office so that I can get my work laptop - and lug it back home.
The streets barely looked like it was Halloween, and this is in Manhattan.
Poor kids.
Poor everyone.

After a few hours of work I reopened my book "A Place of Yes" by Bethenny Frankel.
I gotta say, it's nice to read a little inspiration when you're feeling down, stuck, and emotional.
Sometimes all you do is LITERALLY wait out the storm and fight like hell to keep from having a melt down.

As I was just texting my dear friend (named Sandy) "You are on the right path and things WILL get better - this is just where you are right now...and you have a right to be depressed - you're going through a tough time!"
Wallowing has it's place.
We've all been there.

Then there are those times when you re-build, take stock, and count your blessings.
And that's where I'm at.
Chin up darlings.

Until next week,

Life is bare, gloom and misery everywhere

Stormy weather

Just can't get my poor self together

I'm weary all the time.

~ Billie Holiday

Limited Time Offer.

Sweethearts,

So much to say and nothing to write.
Time is at a stand still it sucks.
Mercury is in retrograde.

(From www.astrology.com)
What happens when Mercury retrogrades? You miss appointments, your computer equipment crashes, checks get lost, you find the car you just purchased during Mercury retrograde is a lemon...There will be countless delays, cancellations and postponements--but know these will benefit you in the long run. Don't fight them, although your frustration level and feeling of restlessness will be hard to cope with at times.

Frustrated?  Check.
RESTLESS?  Yup.
Hard to cope?  Jackpot
If any of you are feeling this way, trust me, I have you in my prayers.
(As I write this, I have had NUMEROUS problems with blogger and am not even sure you'll be able to read this post!)

The shitty part about moments like this, is that all you can do is "wait it out."
Patience is NOT always a virtue, and it's easy to feel like you're going nuts.
I know I do.
With the exception of one or two loved ones, I feel disconnected from most of the people in my life and need to withdraw.

If you are an "action" person like myself, then you know how difficult standing still can be.
(I'll just sit here meditating while my life figures itself out!)
Dammit man.

You can't force fate's hands - and when you do, (or try to) it usually proves disastrous.
It's just like that sometimes.

The good news?
I followed my heart and freed myself from a job that was taking more than it was giving.
As much as I appreciated the extra income and am grateful for my newfound friends, it served it's purpose.
It was time.

Time.
Isn't it amazing how much more valuable time is than money?
Other than our health, it really is our most precious resource.
Almost IMMEDIATELY other job opportunities came to me, so I know I made the right choice.
But I won't follow up on any of them just yet.

I will humbly practice some patience and wait.

Don't make me feel any colder

Time is like a clock in my heart

Touch we touch was the heat too much

I felt I lost you from the start

~ Culture Club

The Moon. The Stars. The Easter.

Dolls,

Well, I'd like to say I survived Friday's powerful full moon unscathed - but I'd be lying.

I am suffering a bit today - as the champagne campaign was in FULL effect for Easter last night.
Like my dinner date T said this morning "We're fabulous one day, hot messes the next!"
(Prosecco in Soho, empty wallets be damned.)

Where do I begin?

With the crazy drunk man nearly dropping a table (on himself!) when I got to work on Saturday morning?
I suppose we should have called the cops, but were all so...shocked.
(He later went on to mop the sidewalk - I took the opportunity to lock the door)
Needless to say he was fired.
He was the THIRD member of staff to be axed last week.

How about the guy who faked an identity to get me to call him?
I'm serious.
I took a break from men and alcohol last week, so his text message went unanswered.
What did he do?  Left a message pretending to be a client, fake name and all.
(Turns out he's also after my friend and still legally married)

I don't make this up.

Throw in a religious holiday and it's one big cocktail of frayed nerves, homesickness, and heightened emotions.
Thank God (quite literally) for church.
I didn't realize how powerful yesterday's service was until I emailed my friend C to tell her about it.
I cried.

We know that Jesus died, and that there was a resurrection.
But now what?
Like the assistant minister said, it's an incomplete sentence.

"He died, he is rose...so therefore..."
"...I'll be a better person?"
"...I'll be more forgiving?"
"...I'll have more compassion towards others?"

How do we want our OWN sentences to finish?
Not just with our faith, but our lives?
I'd like to mine to finish by knowing that the recent sacrifices I've made were worth it.
I'd like to be less stubborn when my feelings are hurt.

I remember when my best friend and I were lunching on a patio a while back.
An old lady was eating nearby...as she was leaving she said to us:
 "Girls, if you do anything at all - just have fun!"

Well.
I'm certainly doing that.

Until next week...

I'd like to greet the sun each morning

And walk amongst the stars at night

I'd like to know the taste of honey in my life

In my life

~ Lionel Richie

Strike 3.

I'm calling people out.

Yes it's been that type of week.
While Valentine's Day was deliciously (and drunkenly) filled with magic moments (always happens when I'm with Drew) the hangover left me seeing rather clearly.

And unlike MOST of my life, I haven't been afraid to say something.
Family, friends, dates, co-workers, employers, it's time to say what's on my mind.
As my friend S just said on the phone:
"Well now we know we've spent the better part of our lives afraid of being yelled at - but not anymore!"

It's true.
Afraid of hurting other people's feelings will always cause you to bury yours.
Unfortunately - so many of us were raised that way.

So why am I on this tear now?
I guess it started in 2011.  The year I'd rather forget.
Everyone I was close to was in agony and we all spent a good part of the year crying.
On top of that, I had to deal with abusive types at work and at home.

Being raised Christian and discouraged from using my voice growing up, I stood back and waited for these people to unravel - which naturally they did.
Like I always say: "People eventually reveal themselves"
Meaning; If someone is nasty to me for no reason - it's a matter of time before they show that side to everyone.

That's the wonderful (and terrible) thing about being a woman and looking like a girl - these haters are often clueless to my inner strength and wisdom.
Until I let them know.

No more mistaking kindness for weakness.
It IS 2012 after all.

Until next week darlings,

I think I'll follow my heart

It's a very good place to start

~ Madonna

Part 2 - Joy & Opportunity.

Hi there, me again.

This post is a continuation of "I say a little prayer for you," my last blog...
While I could have written a NOVEL, with all those thoughts in my head (I suppose that's my next move isn't it?) I wanted to give you some space to take it all in.

As mentioned yesterday, I put a request out into the Heavens and got my wish almost immediately.

What I want to talk about today is when we DON'T say a prayer, and God hooks us up regardless.
A job, contact, or even romance...can just "show up" unannounced and wait to be invited in.
(In my case online romance - seriously I'm getting these guys mixed up now, it's hysterical)

My friend got a call last week about writing a TV show for his friend. 
He came to me (we work well together) and we had a decent (funny) pilot written in less than 2 days.
I was very proud.

We didn't just "stop" what we were doing either. 
We still had jobs to do etc., but we MADE the time to get it done.
I had dates and drinks planned - and I canceled them
 
There were sooo many times - especially when I was pursuing acting, that opportunities like these were OFFERED to me and I turned them down and/or made excuses.

Not this time. 
Not this year.

........................................................

Right before I left for church on Sunday, I got an email from my darling friend C.
Her new husband found something that he thought was an old receipt and noticed it was a hand-written affirmation.
It was in my hand-writing.
Something I had given C YEARS ago:

"It is safe for me to experience joy in every aspect of my life. I love life." (Louise Hay)

Now, my mantra for 2012 thus far has been "It's time to start having fun again."
But isn't Joy just Fun's older and WISER cousin?

I'm going to use this affirmation for the next week (and boy do I need it, I've been cranky) and see where it takes me. 
I'll let you know how it goes.

Until week next my loves...

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right

~ The Beatles