The Power or Perception

Hey Hey,

Did I get you with my self-help title?  (I was at a loss for another one.)

So.
Just like last month, we were hit by another "Super Moon" over the weekend and I'd lying if I said I wasn't terrified going into it.

Dear God, a full moon and PMS?
I'm surprised I wasn't on the ledge, or at least more sensitive than an usual.  
Sure I felt fat, hated my hair, (HATED) and sulked for no reason at all.  We've all been there.
I've also been stressed about money.

The positive to this, is that I know myself well enough to know that these feelings are temporary.
Money comes and goes much like water retention and full moons.
So these last few days, I bit my tongue and tried not to brood.
For the most part.

Yesterday, I was telling my friend C about my phone conversation with someone miserable.
She responded with "WHAT does she have to be miserable about?? She has an easy life!"
For a split second, I felt a flash of anger and was about to defend Misery, but I stopped myself.
If God hath granted us anything at all darlings, it's how we perceive ourselves and our lives.

How quickly would Misery's life change if she viewed her existence as "easy?"
How would yours?
I've been the victim before and it's exhausting.
It's a horrible way to live.

Oh the freedom that comes with viewing Life as one big party...better than Botox.

My good friend S, aka "that Jew from Brooklyn," recently got out of a toxic relationship...
He also said goodbye to coffee - and hello to Jack Daniels.
He's hanging out, laughing more and looks better than when we first met.
He's over the age of 50.

Look, nothing prepares you for broken hearts or disaster striking.
LIFE.
AIN'T.
EASY.
No doubt.

I have a book that sits at my friend CC's place in Toronto - the author wrote a great chapter on having the blues.
She said the only thing that gets you through those tough times, is knowing that they eventually come to an end.
Sometimes, you just have to wait it out.

I returned to running on the treadmill last week.
I threw my back out in early November - a painful herniated disc...
Six long months of no gym, constant pain and thousands of dollars spent on treatment.

Was I frustrated beyond belief?  Of course.
And yes, I wallowed from time to time.
Did I continue laughing and playing (and praying!) throughout?
Absolutely.

My Oprah moment: Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
(Or a birthday weekend in Miami.)
Count your blessings darlings - you have more of them than you think.

Until next week....

This feeling inside

I can't explain

But my love is alive

And I'm never gonna hide it again!

~ Madonna

  


 


  

Careless Whisper

Hi Darlings,

Wanna know how fast New York City is?
My last blog post was only seven days ago - and I'm trying to think of which man, (or men) I was upset with!

I suppose that's why I love it here so much.  

No matter how tough it gets...there really isn't time to sit around moping, there's too much to do!

Which inspires me to make this public service announcement:

To those of you who've known me a long time, please don't think that I lack empathy when it comes to your problems and life's dramas.  It's just that I put myself in a city and situation that doesn't work when sitting around wallowing. It's a struggle EVERY day to look up and stay positive, and I'm doing it on my own.  I take FULL responsibility for the choices I've made.  

It's not easy, I just make it look that way.

Having said all that - I wouldn't have it any other way.

All the tears shed in 2011 has made 2012 so much sweeter. 

I see why it's important to count your blessings, because trust me, I'm grateful.    

The disappointments and heartache of one minute - can lead sweet appreciation the next.

Or it can harden your soul to the core.

As my dear friend K reminded the other day, it's a GOOD thing I've been let down by so many people (ha!) because as I result I've developed a "devil-may-care" attitude.

Oh how I love that saying...

If "Is That All There Is" is my theme song for 2012 - then honey, "Devil-may-care" is my phrase.

Definition: "Cheerfully Irresponsible," "Happy-go-lucky" and my personal favorite, "Careless with his money."

I woke up this morning thinking about how this is the most "stable" I've been in a long time.  Certainly since I've lived here.  

Don't get me wrong I'm not complacent, nor will I ever be - I'm far too ambitious for that.

Is this why they say it takes "years" to become an overnight success?

With my theme song and motto in tact, you could say it took years to become Holly Golightly!

Audrey Hepburn's portrayal of Holly in "Breakfast At Tiffany's" changed my life.

(I mean, how could I NOT want to live in Manhattan after seeing that?)

There she was, a beautiful woman who kept her wits about her despite bad dates and poor choices.

She refused to receive news about being dumped until she had her lipstick on (sound familiar?)

But that's not why I got Holly.

I related to her loneliness and vulnerability.

She moved to New York and became someone else in order to survive.

With her small frame and lipsticked smile, you'd never know the strength that lied within.

In short, she made it look easy.

Until next week lovelies...

And this the life we chose 

Working all night 

Swear I'm never going broke

And  I'm-a  do this till I die

And I ain't talkin' sh*t

Just 'cause  I'm, just 'cause I'm...

(I'm high)

~ Chris Brown