Yes. No. Sandy.

Well here we are.
It's almost 3pm and I am sipping my first coffee.
I have a sore throat, and Starbucks is packed as the kids are off school till next week.

All of this is a minuscule price to pay to be alive, well, and unlike most of my friends; HAVE ELECTRICITY.
Hurricane Sandy has come and gone I cannot believe how fortunate I am.
To say that I'm grateful is an understatement.

My cousin crashed with me for a couple of days and we had a blast...
(His building lobby flooded and they too lost their power)
We ate, drank, laughed and rented (what else) "The Perfect Storm."
He later exclaimed "who knew they could predict Sandy 20 years in advance?!"

In mere weeks I'll be losing him for good when he returns to South Africa after 6 years in New York.
I cannot believe how time flies (or that we weathered 2 hurricanes together!)
I'm so sad at the thought.
The value of family only increases the older I get.

After he left yesterday, I walked over 40 blocks to the office so that I can get my work laptop - and lug it back home.
The streets barely looked like it was Halloween, and this is in Manhattan.
Poor kids.
Poor everyone.

After a few hours of work I reopened my book "A Place of Yes" by Bethenny Frankel.
I gotta say, it's nice to read a little inspiration when you're feeling down, stuck, and emotional.
Sometimes all you do is LITERALLY wait out the storm and fight like hell to keep from having a melt down.

As I was just texting my dear friend (named Sandy) "You are on the right path and things WILL get better - this is just where you are right now...and you have a right to be depressed - you're going through a tough time!"
Wallowing has it's place.
We've all been there.

Then there are those times when you re-build, take stock, and count your blessings.
And that's where I'm at.
Chin up darlings.

Until next week,

Life is bare, gloom and misery everywhere

Stormy weather

Just can't get my poor self together

I'm weary all the time.

~ Billie Holiday

Careless Whisper

Hi Darlings,

Wanna know how fast New York City is?
My last blog post was only seven days ago - and I'm trying to think of which man, (or men) I was upset with!

I suppose that's why I love it here so much.  

No matter how tough it gets...there really isn't time to sit around moping, there's too much to do!

Which inspires me to make this public service announcement:

To those of you who've known me a long time, please don't think that I lack empathy when it comes to your problems and life's dramas.  It's just that I put myself in a city and situation that doesn't work when sitting around wallowing. It's a struggle EVERY day to look up and stay positive, and I'm doing it on my own.  I take FULL responsibility for the choices I've made.  

It's not easy, I just make it look that way.

Having said all that - I wouldn't have it any other way.

All the tears shed in 2011 has made 2012 so much sweeter. 

I see why it's important to count your blessings, because trust me, I'm grateful.    

The disappointments and heartache of one minute - can lead sweet appreciation the next.

Or it can harden your soul to the core.

As my dear friend K reminded the other day, it's a GOOD thing I've been let down by so many people (ha!) because as I result I've developed a "devil-may-care" attitude.

Oh how I love that saying...

If "Is That All There Is" is my theme song for 2012 - then honey, "Devil-may-care" is my phrase.

Definition: "Cheerfully Irresponsible," "Happy-go-lucky" and my personal favorite, "Careless with his money."

I woke up this morning thinking about how this is the most "stable" I've been in a long time.  Certainly since I've lived here.  

Don't get me wrong I'm not complacent, nor will I ever be - I'm far too ambitious for that.

Is this why they say it takes "years" to become an overnight success?

With my theme song and motto in tact, you could say it took years to become Holly Golightly!

Audrey Hepburn's portrayal of Holly in "Breakfast At Tiffany's" changed my life.

(I mean, how could I NOT want to live in Manhattan after seeing that?)

There she was, a beautiful woman who kept her wits about her despite bad dates and poor choices.

She refused to receive news about being dumped until she had her lipstick on (sound familiar?)

But that's not why I got Holly.

I related to her loneliness and vulnerability.

She moved to New York and became someone else in order to survive.

With her small frame and lipsticked smile, you'd never know the strength that lied within.

In short, she made it look easy.

Until next week lovelies...

And this the life we chose 

Working all night 

Swear I'm never going broke

And  I'm-a  do this till I die

And I ain't talkin' sh*t

Just 'cause  I'm, just 'cause I'm...

(I'm high)

~ Chris Brown

 

   

  

Modern Family

Hi Guys!

I'm here in my post-Superbowl-champagne-haze glory.
(Barely.)

February brings with it a lot more than championship football.
Yup, it's that time of year again folks: Valentine's Day.
(Or as Bill Maher calls it "The holiday designed to make single people feel like shit.")

While I've been mating and dating all over Gotham City since the new year began, I'll be spending the night of the 14th with my best gay boyfriend, Drew. 
I've spent Christmases and Thanksgiving with him and his family. 
Everyone is welcome, everyone has fun.

I remember hearing Candace Bushnell (author of Sex & The City) speak when I was still living in Toronto.  During the question and answer period, a woman asked the writer why we didn't see main character's family on the show.

Having lived in NY before, I knew what Bushnell was going to say:
"The show is about Carrie Bradshaw and her friends...when you move to New York City, your friends become your family."
Ain't that the truth.

When we immigrated from Cape Town to Toronto all those years ago, a huge community awaited us (even at the airport!) making a difficult transition that much easier.
While many people follow jobs and spouses to the Big Apple, most of us come here alone.
And unless you've done it, you will never know how tough it really is.

Everything you feel is amplified when you're out of your comfort zone. 
Joy, pain, pleasure, and of course, loneliness.
The best part of vulnerability I suppose - is that it forces you to open your heart and let new people in.

I didn't go the "traditional" route of getting married and having children.
And I may never.  Who knows?
But I absolutely have a family - that I created all by myself. 

It's my proudest New York accomplishment so far.

If you let me, here's what I'll do

I'll take care of you

~Rihanna & Drake

Paradise Island.

Mama's got a headache.
Too little sleep, too much wine and way too many laughs...
Here we go again.

In the midst of mine and K's "I've given up on men" conversations, I got this email from a twitter friend last night: 
"You had tweeted something to me about dating recently - how goes it!?! I hear NY is a Dater's paradise."
(He was responding to this blog.)

Paradise: land, feeling of great pleasure; absence of evil.

In New York City, the seeking of "great pleasure" is the reason we get out of bed at all!
The pursuit of fashion, alcohol, drugs, caffeine, sex (and more sex!) is the fuel to our fire. 
Carrie Bradshaw wasn't kidding around.

What Carrie and the girls DIDN'T have to deal with tho, was text-messaging.
(Can you imagine how much more Samantha would have gotten laid if they had?!)

Over the past few weeks, I've been invited out last minute and surprised (at work) by my growing number of boyfriends.  Last night was no exception. 
I was beckoned to "come over and cuddle" after a 14 hour shift at the bar. 
As tempted as I was, what I REALLY needed was a cocktail and a shower.

K and I agonized over what my next move/response should be (with shrieks of laughter) for an hour.  (Meanwhile, we had to deal with her romantic situation involving a man who asked only to be referred to as "that Jew from Brooklyn.")

In my attempt to sound coy and flirty, I sent him a message that made no sense (I forgot to add a word) and he responded asking if I was questioning his underwear. 
And the hits just keep on coming.

The problem with text messaging is that it while it allows for spontaneous planning - what it DOESN'T do is wash your hair provide you with fresh clothes. 
(It did however, hook us up with PLENTY of laughter.  An ab exercise of hysterics.)

In the end, I didn't make it over to his place.
I was far too busy enjoying my friends.
(Bonus: ended up meeting someone new in the process)

May the year of fun continue.

Until next week...

I'm not ruling you out
I'm just in doubt

As to what you say you're all about
~ Amy Winehouse

 














     

Part 2 - Joy & Opportunity.

Hi there, me again.

This post is a continuation of "I say a little prayer for you," my last blog...
While I could have written a NOVEL, with all those thoughts in my head (I suppose that's my next move isn't it?) I wanted to give you some space to take it all in.

As mentioned yesterday, I put a request out into the Heavens and got my wish almost immediately.

What I want to talk about today is when we DON'T say a prayer, and God hooks us up regardless.
A job, contact, or even romance...can just "show up" unannounced and wait to be invited in.
(In my case online romance - seriously I'm getting these guys mixed up now, it's hysterical)

My friend got a call last week about writing a TV show for his friend. 
He came to me (we work well together) and we had a decent (funny) pilot written in less than 2 days.
I was very proud.

We didn't just "stop" what we were doing either. 
We still had jobs to do etc., but we MADE the time to get it done.
I had dates and drinks planned - and I canceled them
 
There were sooo many times - especially when I was pursuing acting, that opportunities like these were OFFERED to me and I turned them down and/or made excuses.

Not this time. 
Not this year.

........................................................

Right before I left for church on Sunday, I got an email from my darling friend C.
Her new husband found something that he thought was an old receipt and noticed it was a hand-written affirmation.
It was in my hand-writing.
Something I had given C YEARS ago:

"It is safe for me to experience joy in every aspect of my life. I love life." (Louise Hay)

Now, my mantra for 2012 thus far has been "It's time to start having fun again."
But isn't Joy just Fun's older and WISER cousin?

I'm going to use this affirmation for the next week (and boy do I need it, I've been cranky) and see where it takes me. 
I'll let you know how it goes.

Until week next my loves...

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right

~ The Beatles

   

I say a little prayer for you...

Hi Lovelies,

First of all, this was not my intended title or topic.
My original post was to be about when Opportunity knocks, and you smartly (and finally) open the door to let him in.

Let me start from the beginning.

Not only did I start 2012 with online dating and a declaration of "fun," I also began a time-management program that my boss bought for the office. 
It's not only a to-do list of sorts, but way of looking at your life and fully deciding on what it is that you TRULY want.

In a quick brain-storming exercise, I wrote down that I'd like to go to church again. (I work weekends and had stopped going)
Well.
That request was answered SO quickly, I had almost forgotten that I put the prayer out there.
Thanks to a sudden schedule change, Sunday opened up.

I can shamefully admit, that when I get what I want too easily, I nearly always panic and find a way to look a gift-horse in the mouth. 
I work like hell to push the good away - so that I have a reason to complain. 
Work, family, friends, relationships, money.  It's always something.

At church yesterday, the service was about exactly that.
While we are quick to find fault with people, and treat our daily dramas as "emergencies," the only REAL emergency is our relationship with God. 
It is the only thing that lasts forever.

It's not like we take our latest manicure and skinny jeans with us when we die (although I probably will) so the soul is all we've got folks.

Knowing this, makes the irregularities of Life a little bit easier to digest.
Don't be afraid to ask for what you need darlings, you just may get it still.

To be continued...

The moment I wake up

Before I put on my makeup

I say a little prayer for you

~ Burt Bacharach for Dionne Warwick

(& Aretha Franklin)

Dating Call.

Helloooooo....

Well 2012 is in full swing and I'm proud to say the melancholy of last week has taken a leave of absence.

I've been far too busy going out to worry about the post-Christmas blues...
I had never tried online dating sites before kept promising myself I'd check it out one day "just to see."

What a fool I've been!
Went out with three lovely suitors last week, all gentlemen, all handsome.
(All with cool jobs!)

Yes, of course there are some crazies out there.
And sadly, lots of guys like to talk about dating from the comfort of their computers, as opposed to actually doing it.

And who are we kidding, would any one of my companions have passed up the chance to end up 'back at my place' at the end of the night?
Not bloody likely.

Just as I vow this to be my "year of fun," self-respect is still the order of the day.

One thing I hadn't bargained for was the vulnerability that comes with putting my heart on the line.  It's a little scary, I won't lie.
Especially when you meet someone that you'd love to see again.

There may not be sex in the city (just yet) but there are plenty of fish in the sea.

More next week.

I've got the sweetest hangover

I don't wanna get over...

~ Diana Ross