Is that all there is?

Hi Lovelies,

Well it's a gorgeous day and I'm a little grouchy.
(Do people still say grouchy?  I'm bringing it back)
Forgive me, St Patrick's Day has come and gone and I'm left with a green manicure and slight hangover.

Where was I?

I've been thinking a lot about chemistry and physical attraction.
Remember that Sex & the City episode "I Love a Charade," when the girls go to the Hamptons for Bobby and Bitsy's wedding? 
Bobby was clearly a gay man, and Bitsy was far too old not to know the truth.
Throughout the ceremony jokes were cracked, as everyone scratched their heads wondering "WHY?!"

Just how important is sexual chemistry?
(For me - on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd say it's about 49.)
What do you do when you meet someone who's all the right things, but there's no "spark?"
Is it worth exploring?

My roommate B advised "Well, go with your gut..." to which I quickly responded, "My gut has made mistakes!"
God knows there are PLENTY of sparks out there with no substance or no family values - but they sure come with a whole lotta fun.
Perhaps I've been spoiled.

Or maybe the problem isn't that don't know what I want - it's that I DO.
Because one thing I discovered while I was in Miami, I really enjoy being single.
Am I avoiding intimacy?
Or am I just embracing my true feelings?

I mean, I haven't sold myself short thus far, why start now?
Carrie said it best at the end of the "Charade" episode:
"Some people are settling down, some people are settling...and some people refuse to settle, for anything less than butterflies..."

And don't worry darlings, it's not like I've given up on true love or anything...but for now, let's enjoy the springtime, shall we?

Until next week...

Is that all there is?

Is that all there is?

If that's all there is my friends, than let's keep dancing

Let's break the out booze and have a ball

If that's all, there is

~ Peggy Lee 

Street Life.

"I still hang around neither lost nor found
Hear the lonely sound of music in the night
Nights are always bright
That's all that's left for me, yeah"

The above lyrics by song writer Joe Sample (of The Crusaders) were inspired while being on a beginner's ski slope at Mammoth Mountain, California. 
He said:
 "I saw people falling, running into each other... it was absolute chaos. It looked like a boulevard of madness. And I said, That's what 'Street Life' is."

Well Darlings,

I gotta tell you - writing while you're preparing for vacation (or better yet, while you're ON vacation) is much easier than doing it when you come back.
The birthday "high" is beginning to fade.
Thankfully I have daylight savings and spring-time temps keep my spirits up.

I was overwhelmed by the amount of well-wishes I received last week from friends and family.
I got one message from my cousin who was so sweet and encouraging but I found myself slightly defensive.
She said she'd heard I was "living the life" and exclaimed "that's the way life should be."

I play the Street Life because there's no place I can go
Street Life, it's the only Life I know

I just remember thinking "God if you only knew!"
It's easy to feel like life's a beach when you're ON the beach.
It's quite another to be slinging drinks at a bar for 15 hours, just to survive in New York City.
I take that back.
To THRIVE in New York City.

Street Life - and there's a thousand parts to play
Street Life - until you play your Life away

Nobody wants to hear about the tough breaks and the struggles - and nobody sees the tears...God knows there are plenty of them.
I think it was Janet Jackson who said that nobody wants to hear her complaining.
(This is a woman who lived her entire career in her brother's shadow - and then he DIED)

Anyway my point is this.
My cousin is RIGHT.
I am living the life. 
I celebrated my birthday the entire time I was in Miami, then had an EPIC celebration the day after I returned.  (From what I remember anyway)

 You let the people see just who you wanna be
And every night you shine, just like a superstar

Yes of course it's a hustle.
Like Samantha Jones famously said on Sex & the City:
"A homeless man just showed me his DICK on the way here!  It doesn't get any realer than that!"
True indeed.

What's also true is that the struggle makes us stronger. 
We're all in it together so friendship bonds can form quickly.
And they have.
And it's fabulous.

Three months in and 2012 has already kicked 2011's ass.
May the "Champagne Campaign" continue.
Until next week...

That's how the Life is played - a tempting masquerade

You dress, you walk, you talk

You're who you think you are

 ~ The Crusaders

 







 

Modern Family

Hi Guys!

I'm here in my post-Superbowl-champagne-haze glory.
(Barely.)

February brings with it a lot more than championship football.
Yup, it's that time of year again folks: Valentine's Day.
(Or as Bill Maher calls it "The holiday designed to make single people feel like shit.")

While I've been mating and dating all over Gotham City since the new year began, I'll be spending the night of the 14th with my best gay boyfriend, Drew. 
I've spent Christmases and Thanksgiving with him and his family. 
Everyone is welcome, everyone has fun.

I remember hearing Candace Bushnell (author of Sex & The City) speak when I was still living in Toronto.  During the question and answer period, a woman asked the writer why we didn't see main character's family on the show.

Having lived in NY before, I knew what Bushnell was going to say:
"The show is about Carrie Bradshaw and her friends...when you move to New York City, your friends become your family."
Ain't that the truth.

When we immigrated from Cape Town to Toronto all those years ago, a huge community awaited us (even at the airport!) making a difficult transition that much easier.
While many people follow jobs and spouses to the Big Apple, most of us come here alone.
And unless you've done it, you will never know how tough it really is.

Everything you feel is amplified when you're out of your comfort zone. 
Joy, pain, pleasure, and of course, loneliness.
The best part of vulnerability I suppose - is that it forces you to open your heart and let new people in.

I didn't go the "traditional" route of getting married and having children.
And I may never.  Who knows?
But I absolutely have a family - that I created all by myself. 

It's my proudest New York accomplishment so far.

If you let me, here's what I'll do

I'll take care of you

~Rihanna & Drake

Paradise Island.

Mama's got a headache.
Too little sleep, too much wine and way too many laughs...
Here we go again.

In the midst of mine and K's "I've given up on men" conversations, I got this email from a twitter friend last night: 
"You had tweeted something to me about dating recently - how goes it!?! I hear NY is a Dater's paradise."
(He was responding to this blog.)

Paradise: land, feeling of great pleasure; absence of evil.

In New York City, the seeking of "great pleasure" is the reason we get out of bed at all!
The pursuit of fashion, alcohol, drugs, caffeine, sex (and more sex!) is the fuel to our fire. 
Carrie Bradshaw wasn't kidding around.

What Carrie and the girls DIDN'T have to deal with tho, was text-messaging.
(Can you imagine how much more Samantha would have gotten laid if they had?!)

Over the past few weeks, I've been invited out last minute and surprised (at work) by my growing number of boyfriends.  Last night was no exception. 
I was beckoned to "come over and cuddle" after a 14 hour shift at the bar. 
As tempted as I was, what I REALLY needed was a cocktail and a shower.

K and I agonized over what my next move/response should be (with shrieks of laughter) for an hour.  (Meanwhile, we had to deal with her romantic situation involving a man who asked only to be referred to as "that Jew from Brooklyn.")

In my attempt to sound coy and flirty, I sent him a message that made no sense (I forgot to add a word) and he responded asking if I was questioning his underwear. 
And the hits just keep on coming.

The problem with text messaging is that it while it allows for spontaneous planning - what it DOESN'T do is wash your hair provide you with fresh clothes. 
(It did however, hook us up with PLENTY of laughter.  An ab exercise of hysterics.)

In the end, I didn't make it over to his place.
I was far too busy enjoying my friends.
(Bonus: ended up meeting someone new in the process)

May the year of fun continue.

Until next week...

I'm not ruling you out
I'm just in doubt

As to what you say you're all about
~ Amy Winehouse

 














     

Dating Call.

Helloooooo....

Well 2012 is in full swing and I'm proud to say the melancholy of last week has taken a leave of absence.

I've been far too busy going out to worry about the post-Christmas blues...
I had never tried online dating sites before kept promising myself I'd check it out one day "just to see."

What a fool I've been!
Went out with three lovely suitors last week, all gentlemen, all handsome.
(All with cool jobs!)

Yes, of course there are some crazies out there.
And sadly, lots of guys like to talk about dating from the comfort of their computers, as opposed to actually doing it.

And who are we kidding, would any one of my companions have passed up the chance to end up 'back at my place' at the end of the night?
Not bloody likely.

Just as I vow this to be my "year of fun," self-respect is still the order of the day.

One thing I hadn't bargained for was the vulnerability that comes with putting my heart on the line.  It's a little scary, I won't lie.
Especially when you meet someone that you'd love to see again.

There may not be sex in the city (just yet) but there are plenty of fish in the sea.

More next week.

I've got the sweetest hangover

I don't wanna get over...

~ Diana Ross